last year (seems like only yesterday ha ha:)

last year. last year...
last year was a big one for me filled with lots of things. finally starting work, struggling to get work, struggling to cope with the work i all of a sudden got! ive been scared, extatic, so proud of myself, self doubting, overwhelmed. I deffinately took on a lot more than i thought i was at the time. which is good because im so incredibly happy with where i am now and couldnt have learnt what i know now without all the hard times.

I have come so far, learnt sooo much, made plenty of mistakes, but stood up and delt with them in the best way i knew how. I have met lots of great people, the kids have touched my heart and taught me the most. i definately think this year they taught me way more than i could have possibly taught them.

I am proud of so many things i have done and learnt this year, im proud of going on when i thought i couldnt, dealing with screaming kids when all i wanted to do was give up and start screaming myself, but mostly i am proud of who i am at the end of it all. I am ME, but an older and wiser version of me who knows what to do and how to stay calm when all the every day things that happen with little kids HAPPEN.

im now a version of me that knows that its ok for kids to cry, to have to wait. its normal for them to chuck tantrums in public places because they dont get what they want. its ok for old ladies to give me dirty looks (and there probably judging me more on the fact that i appear to be a young mum with 20 kids to my name, rather than the kids/my behaviour) . its ok for them to get sent home dirty. their bum wont fall off if they have to wear someone elses nappy because i packed one less then they needed for what started as a quick trip to the shops. they actually enjoy running around at the park in their undies because i forgot spare pants and what a fun memory of childhood freedom for them to have! theyll forgive me for days im not much fun because im finding it all too much, they still love me and know that i love them. and most of all i have finally realised that its ok for me to be HUMAN! no one expects me to be perfect, thats been my own expectation because i was scared of all this new that was going on in my life.

its been an INCREDIBLE year, i have lived and loved so much, i have been lucky enough to get the big cuddles ive needed, every wednesday and friday from benny (the source of my sanity when "staying sane" was at the end of my to do list, after- work 48hour week, recooperate from working, sleep and do it all again)

ive enjoyed having money that ive earnt with my own hard work, especialy the independance it brings. more than i enjoyed buying and having things, the true satisfaction for me has been paying my own way, having my turn to shout meals and drinks, being able to pay mum rent, being able to give her money when shes short, rather than being helpless and wishing i could giver what i didnt have.

i am so happy with last year, i wouldnt change a thing if i could, and look forward to this year- a brand new blank canvas, ready for me to create. i look forward to working this year, with all the knowledge i gained last year. and i look forward to learning so much more!

happy new year and happy 1 year to us!!:)

i had such a great new years eve!!

it started off waking up next to my favourite boy in the world, then we went to see his sisters beautiful, brand spanking new, tiny tiny TINY little baby girl (darn i love newborns:) she is so gorgeous, and so small that she is still swimming in 00000 clothes!

as though i hadnt smiled enough for one day,when we got back bennys parents took us out snorkeling on their boat. i saw lots of little fishies and crabs and had an absolute ball. the world turned orange and pink as we headed back.we had a swim in the almost bath temperture water at the boat ramp in the dark. one of my favourite parts of going out in the boat is sitting in it on the way to the boat ramp(because they take their ute) it reminds me of being little and getting SO excited to sit in the trailor or go on horse and cart rides, oh sweet memories.


this is us on the boat. i took an AWESOME photo of ben (from behind) sitting on the front of the boat with sunset infront of him which my camera tells me is unrecognised format:( i am so dissapointed, id already decided this was my absolute favourite photo in the world:(

anyway, we got back, had a barbie for tea, prepared for a booring but nice newyear/1 year of us (firework literally went of when we had our first kiss, because it was newyear on the dot! we started officialy "going out" about a week or 2 later, but we decided to make newyear our marker otherwise we'd both forget it!)

wed both been to slack to organise catching up with friends and everyone we knew of was going away so we headed down the pt wakefield pub for a look. I expected benny to see a few friends but got an awesome suprise to see my friend BEC!!! yay!!! (who used to live in pt wakefield but now lives in kadina) we had an awesome night!! i love bec, shes so much fun!

anyway, this is already a ridiculously long post and my furry friend needs feeding so ill end it with this happy picture of mine and bennys happy feet snugling and say HAPPY 1YEAR BENNY!!!!! you have been my best year ever!!!!

Camping at Marion Bay

our home away from home:)

me and dad took a few days away to enjoy our beautiful earth. what better place than marion bay. it was beautiful weather, we enjoyed spending lots of time at the beach. my favourite spot was a little rocky cave i found on a morning walk. i could dangle my feet in the water, watch all the action of the beach and be in the shade all at once all at the same time!! this is me cooking ravioli at our camp site. my second favourite camping thing is eating camping food. doesnt everthing taste better cooked on a tiny stove?

while i was away i had my first attempt at needle felting (and i only stabbed myself twice:( this is marion the mermaid down at the beach

we found a realy cool fishing spot not far from the town. quite a walk down a cliff lugging rods etc. but well worth it in the end. fishing was all very fun until we actualy had to save the poor little fishes from our hooks. it was a bit sad at first but it was lots of fun being down in the water. me in my undies because a wave got me good within 5minutes of being down there!

yay for camping, we had so much fun!!!

HAPPY HOLLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!

yahoodles, i am now officialy on holidays for 2 whole weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for the next two weeks..... no more babies demanding to be held every second of every day, telling toddlers to 'get back in the kitchen with your food for the hundreth time today'

but unfortunately no more baby sized cuddles, hysterical tickle fights or tiny faces nuzzling into my neck. sigh, i miss them already....... BUT NOT ENOUGH THAT ID GIVE UP 2 WEEKS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont know what im gona do with myself for 2 quiet weeks but i sure know its going to be fabulous:) and filled with sleepins and getting down the shops with out little helpers and not-so helpers. yay, im so excited!!!!

happy 8 days till christmas!!!!!!

me and mum went looking at christmas lights last night, it was so nice:) we oohd and ahhd at everyones hard word, especialy one old mans place where we got a guided tour of all the beautiful things he and his wife had made. weve decided we may have to get some outdoor decorations in the after christmas sales ready for next year.(and prohaps a new nativity? joseph seems to be missing his head) im home sick today so hopefully il feel well in the afternoon and get my christmas shopping done. i hate shopping:(

rainbows make me smile:)

well i havent posted in a while, i had a bit of a rough week, starting of being SO incredibly tired and not knowing why... ending with a 3 day long ear ache/throbbing headache all weekend long. on a brighter note, im feeling a fare bit better now, and being sick usually inspires me to make stuff (if im not sleeping i get bored because im not a huge fan of tv)
so i dosed myself up on nurofen and went out to the shed and made this (on day 2 when there were breaks between sleeps and throbbing headache) from a piece of wood i found at the dump (please dont tell on my dump man friend for letting me keep it:) and old branches from our apple tree. ive been reading lots of blogs etc. on waldorf/steiner education which is something ive been interested in for a long while, i love that the main focus is around creativity, imagination and nature because hey, thats where my main focus is!!! i want to make and get some more open ended toys so that i dont have to have so many toys!

i got some wool and dyes from my new favourite net shop 'Winterwood Steiner Inspired Toys' and me and ben had lots of fun dying playcloths and wool last week (levin and madi, you should see the 'much heard about, rarely seen' ben on christmas eve. if he doesnt chicken out of the big family gathering. hmm, we'll see. see you in 8 days!!!!!!!) had a go at wet felting a beach play mat but it didnt work real well (its coming apart at the part where colours meet up. oh weal, mite have to have a go at putting some backing material on it.

3 things that make me happy today

1.chamomile (or as ben refers to it, "want some of that hippy flowers tea babe?") tea in my happy yellow teapot. note the pot holder, can you tell i love that kombi fabric? chamomile tea always makes me feel so relaxed:)2. my " man ring" ben made me at work

3. tomorrow is my sleep in day!! i usually get up at 6 but tuesdays are 8 at the moment. I wake up at 6 anyway but its so nice to know that i dont have to get up for 2 whole hours!! yay for tuesdays!! and i have the cutest little bub who comes for the morning tuesdays. what could be better than tuesdays?!