rain drops and falling leaves

 When I saw Ginny's scarf last week I just had to knit one myself. I absolutely love the look of lace but id barely knitted anything with it because I found it very difficult. I had lots of problems to start off with and gave up a few times but luckily I was so determined that I finally did figure it out!
My problem had been that I thought the abbreviation 'ssk' meant slip stitch knit wise, but it actually meant slip, slip, knit (slip two stitches knit wise and then knit them together)
Once I figured that out my scarf finally started growing (occasionally shrinking, but mostly growing:)
 I'm nearly finished and I can't wait to block it and see how it looks.

 The pattern with this green colour (in real life it looks a bit greener then these photos) reminds me of the falling leaves that were beginning to see around here

This morning has been a lovely rainy morning, something our garden really needs.

I have been sitting on the daybed under our veranda outside, knitting and watching the rain drops fall. Watching the birds flying in the rain and wondering if they enjoy being cleansed by the shower or if it makes flying more difficult. It doesn't look like they mind it but who knows. 

This week has been a rather wonderful break, I don't have the baby so I get to sleep in and I also have 2 days off. Ive been having him 5 days a week for about 2 months now, the past few weeks have been from 5am-2.30pm and this will be the hours she needs for at least a few more months. I also have the other 3 boys. Before that I had been working 3 or 4 days a week for a while.

I really do wonder how most people can work full time, whenever I work 5 days I really struggle. And then I feel silly for finding it such a struggle.

The main things that I struggle with are

*Having my home 'on show' all the time, I get stressed about whether the parents would find my house tidy and clean enough, what they could notice that I've not noticed and cleaned. I'm not the most tidy person so this is quite a struggle for me.

*having children ready to go home- in the case of the baby I want to have his nappy changed and for him to be fed and happy before he goes home. This is a completely unrealistic goal because he naps at different times and gets hungry at different times so he is bound to sometimes wake just before pick up time and be immediately grizzly because he needs a clean nappy and milk! I realistically know that this is normal and that his mother trusts me and knows I'm doing my best but I still feel self conscious that it could look like I'm not taking good care of him

*waking at 4.30am. I have to wake, wait for the baby to be dropped off and then once he's settled (which he usually is straight away) I can go back to sleep. Which is great except that by this point I'm wide awake so it takes me a good hour or so to get back to sleep.

*because I'm waking so early I have to go to bed most nights before Benny finishes his night shift. In the mornings I'm busy with the kids so during the week I hardly get to see him

*Even though Ive been in port Wakefield a few years I don't have any friends here. My

friends and family are too far away to take children to visit and after i finish work I don't usually feel like going anywhere. I feel like I barely see anyone over the age of 4 during the week!

*my washing still refuses to fold itself, much less put its self away! (yep had to throw that one in there)

Basically I know that I want to give up one of my days but I just hate doing it. So ill probably just contemplate and worry about it for the next few weeks until I have the guts to do it. Even though I know I've already made up my mind . 

Giving up the money will be fine but I just hate making life hard for parents. When I agreed to have him I reluctantly took him on and made it clear that with such early hours I would just have to see how it went, but still, Sigh...

OK, whinge is officially over. back to some prettiness

 here is the baby cardigan, all finished except for the miss matching cuffs. i cant decide which I like most, what do you think?

Thankyou for the heart warming comments on my last post, im lucky to be surrounded by such warmth and people that understand and support me. Im slowly responding as my computer is having some issues but please know that I appreciate each and every one of you that stop by here xoxo

for the one day baby

The rainbow stripey blanket is almost finished but I decided to deviate to a different little project that ive been day dreaming about for a while. A tulip cardigan for my 'one day baby'. Who of course may or may not be a little girl:)

For a long time ive had many baby projects running through my head but I honestly haven't made a single thing to put away for my baby since the little quilt I made when we first decided to try for a baby 3 years ago. When I made that quilt I presumed that we would soon have a baby. It felt like I was making it for a someone. Ive since wanted to begin things but ive always lost motivation feeling silly to be making for a baby that doesn't exist. I guess ive wondered if it was a bit wierd. Maybe it is.

Recently ive been inspired by another 'one day mother' on her own difficult fertility journey who has been knitting up some beautiful little clothes. I felt something in my heart when looking at those adorable clothes made with love by someone who is waiting just as I am and they gave me the courage and motivation to knit some too.

This is how the little tulip cardigan looked a few days ago but now all thats left to finish is the ribbing on one sleeve. It will then be ready to sit happily in my cupboard with the peter rabbit quilt for as long as it needs to wait.

This little cardigan doesn't have anyone to fill it just yet but one day it will. (weather it be my own little girl or somone elses if im blessed with all boys!)

Really when knitting it the main aim wasn't to keep a baby warm, although that will be a happy bonus one day. I knitted it for me. For my heart and soul. To keep the fire in my heart burning, to keep the hope alive.

Sometimes its easier to push down and ignore the feelings and confusion that come along with infertility. Sometimes I feel like I've given up. I know I haven't but its nice to see and touch in this fabric that im knitting, the hope and belief that my dream will one day come true .

Every stitch gives me a feeling that one day this baby that I dream of will be real. She will wear this or he will wear something else I make. Or a lot of somethings I make im sure its safe to say. I think there will be some more little projects in my future

'A Gardeners Journal' quilty progress!

 I'm so excited to say I'm about half way through my hand stitched quilt top! Its coming along so nicely, with each block I finish I see my hand stitching getting neater and faster. This is the block I'm currently working on. They are seed packets

 I recently finished this  'Vegetable patch' block

 And also this 'Weeding the garden' patch. If you've seen the pattern before you will notice that I've changed a few of the pictures a bit, including this one. I'm not sure if it looks quite right but the original picture was of an older lady weeding the garden so I changed it to look a bit more like me weeding the garden in a summer dress and bare feet:)

 Ive also been doing some stitching of the fixing-back-together sort. Cameron got up from his nap today alarmed that Bunny's ear had fallen off

 I haven't kept up with sharing my quilt progress so I took photos today of most of the blocks so far. Some I may have shared before but most I don't think I have. Probably because many of them are almost finished but still have some stitching still to go. Because that seems to be my style, a little here, a little there.

This is the center of the quilt, the largest applique. As you can see its got a few more colours to go

 'watering the garden'

 'bird bath'

 'potting shed'

 'weather vane'

 'Potting plants' (which will make more sense when I've stitched the lady who is potting the plants!)

'snail' and 'butterfly' (I'm going to change the butterfly though because I don't like her pink eyes.
 Oh and I didn't add the 'Orchard' block because I showed it not long ago and also you can see it as my blog header.
So there you are, all caught up!

For more Crafting On fun  Frontier Dreams

bread day

Mitch's 'baby chicken bread' (his snack board is the mum chicken)

 I love bread day!
I actually hadn't done it in a good while. Our rhythm somewhat disappeared when I started looking after the baby but I'm now finding that I can get back to some of the things we like to do that got a bit forgotten about.
I was reading Rebecca's recent bread making post in which she mentions making the dough the night before. Genius!
I can kneed bread dough happily in the evenings instead of trying to fit into my busy mornings. This works for me so much better.
So last night I made the dough, let it sit for an hour and a half and went to bed. In the morning I just got it out half hour before the children arrive to warm up a bit and then we had bread making fun.
 Now we can have bread in the morning and left overs in the afternoon! Mitch got up from his nap today and went straight to the kitchen instead of coming to me like usual. "Bread?!!" yep were bread lovers here:)

this is a snake, porcupine (similar to hedgehog but native to Australia) chicken, snail, bee and face. Good luck guessing whats what!

 The recipe (its a new favourite)
Spelt Bread
1cup spelt grains
1.5 cup white spelt flour
1 cup white plain flour
11/2 tsp dry yeast
2 tsp sugar (id usually use honey but id run out)
1tspn salt

2 Tbs olive oil
1 cup lukewarm water (i used a bit extra to make it a softer dough)

*Grind spelt grains to a course flour
*mix dry ingredients in a bowl
*add wet ingredients and combine
* kneed for 10-15 mins
* place in an oiled bowl, cover with a wet tea towel
*let rise for 90mins
(at this point I put it in the fridge over night)
*punch down and shape into a loaf, buns or shapes as like we like to
*Pre- heat oven to 210oC while bread rises for 30 mins
* Bake for 10 mins, lower temp to 100oC for 20-30 mins (are cooked when they sound hollow. A whole loaf may take a bit longer)

Were not big fans of crunchy crust so I cover them with a damp towel for a few mins as they cool. This may sound crazy but it doesn't make them soggy, it just makes the outsides a bit softer sort of like store bought bread.

We then cut them open and enjoy them with peanut butter, honey or Vegemite

 mmm, mines gotta be melty butter and Vegemite!

 The boys have been very into washing lines and cubby lately. I think this one was a cubby house. Then again, it may have started as a washing line!

Ronnie of Homemade happy gave me the idea of using the baby toy bar as a doll swing so we gave it a go today and it was lots of fun!

Slow Living January 2012

Ive been inspired by Evi to join in Christines monthly slow living journal! Next month ill be on time (hopefully)

NOURISH: Lasagna at Salt of the Earth (my favourite cafe)
Home made and delicious with a fantastic side salad- it nourishes  my body.

Slowly eating it outside in the beautiful garden, thinking and dreaming and watching birds fly by- it nourishes my soul.

Thursday is quickly becoming my favourite day, especially when my parent pop in and come along too.

'Salt of the Earth cafe' garden

 PREPARE (stockpile & preserve): I have been bottling some of our delicious summer! I've made tomato sauce, fig jam and frozen some basil pesto

REDUCE waste, repair & re-purpose: I'm bulk buying flour, getting back to baking bread to reduce plastic bags coming into our home and using the soap I made a while ago. I tried washing my hair with it last night and so far so good! It looks just as nice as usual so that should reduce plastic bottles

The soap I made in December is now ready to use

CREATE:I'm slowly working away at my handstitched quilt and knitted blanket

GREEN: I made a wooden baby toy bar instead of buying a plastic one  

GROW: Not much is growing in my veggie patch at the moment.This is my first summer at this house and ive found that while winter and spring saw my garden abundant and full of beautiful veg, the soil is a bit too sandy for the summer heat. I managed to grow enough tomatoes to keep us happy and make sauce but thats about all that did well enough to mention. Potatoes look good but are still a while away. Im working on adding lots of organic matter in the hope that next summer more will thrive. Im starting to remove all the dead tomato vines and begin planting some autumn/winter veg. Im ready to see some more green and growth.

this is how my garden looked in late December, many stinking hot days ago!

DISCOVER: Beautiful yellow crocuses in my front garden. They were hidden by over grown weeds so they were a proper reward for weeding my garden!

(I got this pic from google because I didn't feel like going and taking a picture but you get the idea:)

ENHANCE community: I'm joining the local craft co op and making things to sell there. I resisted for quite some time because I'm shy but a lady that I met doing salt of the earth markets has been encouraging me to take things in so this morning I did. Its always good for me to break out of my cozy little comfort zone:) The craft co op ladies invited me to a once a week craft morning at the local church. I'm still debating if ill go because I have Mitch and Xavier so it may be a bit hectic. They said even if I'd just like to drop in for a cuppa which I might do as its only around the corner.

 

ENJOY life!:
I have been going on lots of walks with the baby I look after and Ive been feeling recently a new love for my town, I'm slowly starting to love it here.
Before he was coming full time I had two week days off each week which I usually spent at home or drove to my home town to see family and friends.
Now I have to be here on those days but I'm enjoying them so much.
Its nice having a little baby around because he motivates me to get out so that he can see nature which as a bonus of course means that I do too. Its nice being able to go to the water with a little person and just sit quietly. When I began looking after children one of my biggest struggles as a quiet thoughtful person was getting used to how much they talk and want me to talk back. Im well and truly used to it now but I do truly treasure moments with just one or two in a quiet peaceful mood or of course this baby who is still quiet so often. I can go where I please and he's just happily along for the rid

our pretty door!

 Soon after we moved to this house I began painting this door to brighten up the daycare playroom. I painted the green vine and white base coats of the animals and bee hive.
Today Cameron asked if I could put some eyes on the bird so while I had the paints out I finished it all off

 Its far from perfect but I'm quite happy with it.
 The littles were all happily occupied when I begun but of course the second I got out paint they were at my side.
I had Cameron pointing,  "what about that one, you didn't do that yet!" and Mitch sitting on me fidgeting like only a three year old can, but somehow I managed it without mistakes and only a few bits of paint got smeared by inquisitive little fingers:) I like to do these kinds of things when the children are about as they love to watch but I'm glad I didn't wait until I had two more children in the afternoon, now that would have been craziness!

 I had planned on doing different coloured flowers but instead just mixed different shades of purple out of pure laziness. As it turns out I wouldn't change it especially the little purple butterfly

I added bees because they are a special favourite around here. When Mitch was a baby the boys (Cameron, Mitch and Josh) all loved a book called 'Time For Bed' by Mem Fox, especially Mitch. It has a beautiful rhyming verse and water colour pictures of baby animals snuggling up and going to sleep with their mamas. On the page with a mama and baby bee I always pretended my finger was a bee that buzzed and landed on their noses and Mitch still likes to do this often


Linking up with oak tree vibrations for

Fig Jam (sugarless)





Yep I've been jammin again:)

 I mentioned quite some time ago that we have a big old fig tree on the empty block behind our house. Benny's mum said that the owners of the block are happy for us to have whatever we can get to before the birds so I went over and picked a bag full a few evenings ago.

It was a wild and windy night, not the kind of night one would expect in the middle of Summer but nice all the same 

 The figs are in abundance, the birds  have yet to find the fruity feast. Benny's mum said she never managed to get many figs when she lived here. What luck I have, I guess these figs just wanted to become jam

 I loosely followed this sugarless fig jam recipe (honey sweetened)

I also made fig muffins using our favourite muffin recipe