wool and what next?

 happy wool that's waiting to be knit. The blue didn't have to wait long, it's now becoming a scarf. Or a cowl if I run out

 I knit a second version of my grey hoodie. I'm already planning another, blue and white stripe with no cables. I live in these two hoodies, now that I have two I hardly need to wear any other jumpers

I love my new white one just as much as my old grey one. I've not blocked it yet, one day ill get around to that

My IVF doctor called which was nice, I didn't expect I would talk to her until next appointment.
She said that most likely I was just unlucky to have had both embryos start to implant but then fail (it happens often as a certain % of all embryos have chromosonal problems that would cause disabilities etc so your body rejects them) but she offered to do some blood tests for some things that can cause that to happen more often, genetic problems etc. if we wanted to. I did, if something is wrong i'd rather know asap so that they can do all they can to fix it.
The test form had 20 different things to test for. I also did a glucose tollerance test. You know that your doing pretty well getting past your fear of needles when you're more bothered about having to wait at the doctors for 2 hours than have 2 blood tests. That was after my favourite blood test lady looked at my form and said 'gosh that's a harsh making you do all that at once, make sure you drink a lot of water!"
I fainted after 9 half vials (I've had that before when i've had to fast before them ) so she took the rest after 2hr glucose test and by then I was fine.
We go back for results and to discuss our next embryo transfer on the 4th of next month. I'm really looking forward to it. As injections scans and blood tests become my new 'normal' i'm feel more impatient and excited to get to my IVF cycles although it is nice having the months in between and also spaces out my needing to juggle work around it all and needing time off

An end to limbo

Unfortunately not good news for our frozen embryo transfer cycle. Today I got blood test results and like last time the egg started implanting but the levels and projesterone are too low so it will almost deffinately be another chemical pregnancy (early miscarriage) last time my level was 9, this time 22, It should be over a hundred at this point.

So on to the limbo we've been in the past week...

I've been on a medication that contains hsg (pregnancy hormone) and therefore if you test too soon after having it you get false positive pregnancy tests. A lot of people 'test it out of their system' by doing tests each day and seeing it fade to nothing, therefore if they test after that and get positives they are actually pregnant.

Most people find its out of their system after 3 or 4 days so 6 days after my last dose I decided to test and got a positive. 

I knew that it might still be the medication causing it so I started testing daily. If the line gets darker instead of lighter it means you are pregnant. Mine got darker for a few days and I got really excited of course but then yesterday and today it was getting lighter again so I was fairly sure it was a chemical pregnancy again. As sad as it was I'm still glad I tested for the glimmer of hope I got. I have never seen two lines on a pregnancy test. After dreaming of that moment for 5.5 years I finally did and even though it seems silly to be excited about it when i'm still not getting the far more important dream of staying pregnant and having our baby yet, it was still a little dream come true for me. Of course it's disappointing but we've still got 3 little embryos waiting for us, 3 glimmers of hope. I'm looking forward to my next appointment to ask if their are changes they can make seems the same thing happened both cycles for us. I'm looking forward to a month off and then getting started again. As much as I was scared of IVF to begin with it now feels comfortable and I so look forward to the chance that next time might be the time for us

On the walk back from my blood test the other day I went in the opp shop and found one of my all time favourite opp shop finds ever! I saw this little embroidered watering can and wheel burrow peeking out from under some other bits and pieces and had a feeling it was going to something pretty cute. Hmm, garden themed baby jeans? yep please!

I pulled them out and realized it was three of my all time favourite things put together- garden tools, peter rabbit and overalls- yay!

So now i'm really hoping this next FET cycle works because our baby NEEDS to be born at the right time of the year to wear these! (..oh and also because im' kinda impatient to finally meet him/her)