happiness out my back door

when we moved in, as much as i loved the place there were just a few things i realy realy missed from my old house. i looked out the back door the other day and realised my dreams are coming true

my new veggie patch is become my relaxation again (now that summer is over and the plants arent dying, because theirs nothing relaxing about dead plants) i have surrounded the beds with chunks of pea straw and its looking realy great.

some might look at this picture and see patchy grass. i see picnics, cozy blankets and cussions, a relaxing spot to lay and read books, greenery in an otherwise brown spot, and best of all a spot that will be full of happy memories. our new grass is looking fuller and fuller by the day.

i was given a 'coffe table' by bennys mum for next to my favourite chair, tomorrow it will be painted matching green. perfect!

a rainwater tank!! this is exactly what we planned on saving for as soon as we ran out of ''nececities'' (microwave, second portable cot, phone that you can hear people with because ours was ridiculously quiet) in the meantime we found out that bennys uncle had one he wasnt using and was happy to lend us for the moment. gotta love luck when its working in your favour!

when i sit outside i take a deep breath and smile. despite feeling a little impatient about getting pregnant i know it will happen and in the meantime life is pretty good.

green

just a bit of green to brighten your day, ah, isnt it nice! did i mention i love green? and on a happy note, i planted grass seeds and they are growing bigger every day

mothers day

well, for mothers day we took mum to a quilting display in moonta, photos of spectacular quilts to come in the near future (their on mums camera) and had a fantastic day!

the thing i thought about most on mothers day was how bad i want to be a mother. every time we went past mothers pushing little babies in prams i thought, could that be me next year? i so badly hope so.

at the moment its the time of the month where i find out if we have been successful, if i am pregnant. i can test now, but this month ive decided to wait a little longer. its nice sitting here and thinking, i could be pregnant right now. id love to do the test and find out i am, but in case im not i want to wait a little longer, feel hopeful a little longer.

i am scared, so incredibly scared, what if we are unlucky and arent able to get pregnant? i know its a long time before i should even think of this but what if? i have wanted kids longer than i can remember, i feel like its what i was born for.

in the past few months, this is what my mind has been on a lot. trying to let go, knowing it will happen when the time is right, trying my best to be patient. if anyone has been through the same thing, id love to here stories, how you felt along the way, how long you had to wait for your special babies. i feel like sharing might make our journey a little easier