For a long time ive had many baby projects running through my head but I honestly haven't made a single thing to put away for my baby since the little quilt I made when we first decided to try for a baby 3 years ago. When I made that quilt I presumed that we would soon have a baby. It felt like I was making it for a someone. Ive since wanted to begin things but ive always lost motivation feeling silly to be making for a baby that doesn't exist. I guess ive wondered if it was a bit wierd. Maybe it is.
Recently ive been inspired by another 'one day mother' on her own difficult fertility journey who has been knitting up some beautiful little clothes. I felt something in my heart when looking at those adorable clothes made with love by someone who is waiting just as I am and they gave me the courage and motivation to knit some too.
This is how the little tulip cardigan looked a few days ago but now all thats left to finish is the ribbing on one sleeve. It will then be ready to sit happily in my cupboard with the peter rabbit quilt for as long as it needs to wait.
This little cardigan doesn't have anyone to fill it just yet but one day it will. (weather it be my own little girl or somone elses if im blessed with all boys!)
Really when knitting it the main aim wasn't to keep a baby warm, although that will be a happy bonus one day. I knitted it for me. For my heart and soul. To keep the fire in my heart burning, to keep the hope alive.
Sometimes its easier to push down and ignore the feelings and confusion that come along with infertility. Sometimes I feel like I've given up. I know I haven't but its nice to see and touch in this fabric that im knitting, the hope and belief that my dream will one day come true .
Every stitch gives me a feeling that one day this baby that I dream of will be real. She will wear this or he will wear something else I make. Or a lot of somethings I make im sure its safe to say. I think there will be some more little projects in my future
god bless you karen. its beautiful ! xxxxxx
ReplyDeleteKaren, thank you so much for posting this. We are struggling with our own fertility issues (that all came to the surface right before Christmas) and I have wanted to post, but haven't. I want to make those "one day baby" items for myself, but I often wondered if people would think it be foolish.
ReplyDeleteThe cardigan is absolutely adorable. It's so pretty! Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing.
Your rainbow cardigan is beautiful in many ways, Karen. You keep that fire going. You will be an incredible mother one day. A really, really incredible one. Love to you, Kelly
ReplyDeleteYour post brought tears to my eyes, what disarmingly heartfelt words from a 'one day mother' xo
ReplyDeleteAnd such a beautiful rainbow cardy for your 'one day baby'
Beautiful post, your words touch me to the core. I know your one day baby is just waiting for the right moment. Youre going to be a fantastic mama!
ReplyDeleteThat sweater would look great on a baby boy too! Babies don't notice those differences. Best of luck for your one day baby.
ReplyDeleteIt is not weird! It is beautiful and life-affirming. Thanks for sharing. And yep, it would be gorgeous on a little boy too.
ReplyDeleteone lucky baby you're going to have!
ReplyDeleteHey Karen,
ReplyDeleteHave you read http://lovestitches.wordpress.com/
One day you will hold a little babe in your arms :)
and until then, knit your little heart out....
L
x
It is a beautiful sweater. I think its wonderful to knit things for a one day baby. It will look wonderful on him/her.
ReplyDeleteThis little cardigan is so precious-- not just because of the pretty stitches & colors, but because of the hope & dreams you are knitting into it. Good luck to you on your continued journey. :)
ReplyDeletethis little cardigan looks just wonderful I can just see a baby wearing it.
ReplyDeleteThat's beautiful Karen - both the cardigan and you post. You are going to be a wonderful mother.
ReplyDeleteHow funny to open your blog and see this sweater. Not long enough I found this same exact knitted sweater at a used clothing store. My little Lochlan now wears it and I love it. Its even the same colors. :)
ReplyDelete((((hugs))) it will happen, and yes, keep knitting. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful cardy Karen. Hang in there and try to stay positive it will happen. We had a long long wait and some heartbreak until we finally had a babe in our arms so I know that it can be tough. I think that it's an excellent idea to make a few special things for your one day baby - and I would totally put that sweet rainbow on a boy but then my girls wear lots of blue - I don't buy into the traditional colours
ReplyDeleteYour post really touched me. Knitting is a great way to cope with waiting and uncertainty as well as keeping your dream alive. We are expecting our first baby after many years of waiting and three adoptions! I wish you the best of luck.
ReplyDelete