My problem had been that I thought the abbreviation 'ssk' meant slip stitch knit wise, but it actually meant slip, slip, knit (slip two stitches knit wise and then knit them together)
Once I figured that out my scarf finally started growing (occasionally shrinking, but mostly growing:)
I'm nearly finished and I can't wait to block it and see how it looks.
This morning has been a lovely rainy morning, something our garden really needs.
I have been sitting on the daybed under our veranda outside, knitting and watching the rain drops fall. Watching the birds flying in the rain and wondering if they enjoy being cleansed by the shower or if it makes flying more difficult. It doesn't look like they mind it but who knows.
This week has been a rather wonderful break, I don't have the baby so I get to sleep in and I also have 2 days off. Ive been having him 5 days a week for about 2 months now, the past few weeks have been from 5am-2.30pm and this will be the hours she needs for at least a few more months. I also have the other 3 boys. Before that I had been working 3 or 4 days a week for a while.
I really do wonder how most people can work full time, whenever I work 5 days I really struggle. And then I feel silly for finding it such a struggle.
The main things that I struggle with are
*Having my home 'on show' all the time, I get stressed about whether the parents would find my house tidy and clean enough, what they could notice that I've not noticed and cleaned. I'm not the most tidy person so this is quite a struggle for me.
*having children ready to go home- in the case of the baby I want to have his nappy changed and for him to be fed and happy before he goes home. This is a completely unrealistic goal because he naps at different times and gets hungry at different times so he is bound to sometimes wake just before pick up time and be immediately grizzly because he needs a clean nappy and milk! I realistically know that this is normal and that his mother trusts me and knows I'm doing my best but I still feel self conscious that it could look like I'm not taking good care of him
*waking at 4.30am. I have to wake, wait for the baby to be dropped off and then once he's settled (which he usually is straight away) I can go back to sleep. Which is great except that by this point I'm wide awake so it takes me a good hour or so to get back to sleep.
*because I'm waking so early I have to go to bed most nights before Benny finishes his night shift. In the mornings I'm busy with the kids so during the week I hardly get to see him
*Even though Ive been in port Wakefield a few years I don't have any friends here. My
friends and family are too far away to take children to visit and after i finish work I don't usually feel like going anywhere. I feel like I barely see anyone over the age of 4 during the week!
*my washing still refuses to fold itself, much less put its self away! (yep had to throw that one in there)
Basically I know that I want to give up one of my days but I just hate doing it. So ill probably just contemplate and worry about it for the next few weeks until I have the guts to do it. Even though I know I've already made up my mind .
Giving up the money will be fine but I just hate making life hard for parents. When I agreed to have him I reluctantly took him on and made it clear that with such early hours I would just have to see how it went, but still, Sigh...
OK, whinge is officially over. back to some prettiness
Thankyou for the heart warming comments on my last post, im lucky to be surrounded by such warmth and people that understand and support me. Im slowly responding as my computer is having some issues but please know that I appreciate each and every one of you that stop by here xoxo
beautiful knits and colours... i really like the scarf pattern too, and may have to make as well ! i feel the same as you, no friends, seeing no other person other than my hubby each day and week other than the kids. no friends does mean a different lifestyle for the time being, which is why blogging and talking on here is really important to me. it fills this gap, that would otherwise make it more lonely and isolating. and knitting is another joy. but 430am is NOT a joy, i'd be a zombie..
ReplyDeletex
I love the scarf, after I saw Ginny's I added it to my list of things to knit too! I just need to find some wonderful yarn for it. I love love love the rainbow cardigan, I think I'd vote for the ribbed sleeve, but that's just me :)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you stuck with the pattern and figured it out. The scarf looks so pretty and I can't wait to start one.
ReplyDeleteI have to vote for the rib cuff, but then I am pretty traditional.
Have a happy yarn along.
The cardigan if fab, I think I like the seed stitch sleeve the best.
ReplyDeleteScarf is beautiful and soft looking.
Glad you are getting some rest; I do a home daycare 3 days a week and it's exhausting!
you're got a lot of projects going on!
ReplyDeletethe pattern in the first one looks complicated, looks gorgeous actually!
I love the baby cardigan! I'd like to make one for my daughter. I totally understand your 5AM dilemma. I often have to be at work at 5AM which makes for a long day and a baby sleepover at the grandparents house. (not that they mind at all.).
ReplyDeleteBeautiful cardigan (I think I like the ribbed cuffs best) and the scarf is gorgeous :)
ReplyDeleteMy mum used to be a childminder (home day care) and I know she struggled with some of the same concerns. She only ever "fired" one family, and even though it was the right thing to do for everyone, it was still really hard. But if the situation isn't working for you then you do have to put yourself first.
I like the ribbing better, even though it does not match the bottom band. I hear you about the laundry not doing itself! I work 6 hours a day, 5 days a week & most days I feel like I'm just spinning in circles!
ReplyDeleteOh, and that scarf is beautiful!
Have you tried finding a local knitting group?
Beautiful color for the scarf and the baby sweater is so fun with all those large stripes. Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed right now. Hopefully your time will even out.
ReplyDeleteOh, that cardigan is lovely! Those colors are so beautiful and spring-like. And good job on the scarf!
ReplyDeleteYour days sound SO busy I feel like a real slacker by comparison. :) Hang in there!
What gorgeous knits! I don't know which I like more- they are both so pretty. I vote for the ribbed cuff. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful knits and boy your schedule seems so busy! I love the scarf pattern and the color of your yarn.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful scarf. I've been caught out by same abbreviation, different stitch before. Frustrating. Its interesting hearing the other side of the child care story. All my children are at school now, but we used the same childminder for nine years, who is fantastic, but I found that there has to be give and take on both sides for it to work. I'm sure your parents are just so pleased that they can leave their treasures in such a lovely environment. I know I was.
ReplyDeleteYour lace scarf is so beautiful. I'd love to try something like that :-) And the cardigan is also very very sweet. I'm not going to be much help - I like both cuffs!
ReplyDeleteAnd wow, you are amazing to get up so early to look after the babe! I understand why it can't continue though, you need to be able to keep your balance in things too.
Love the look of that scarve. I am a newer knitter and am so nervous to try a pattern like this...but it is so lovely and I am hoping that one day soon I take the plunge and give it a try! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso...that baby sweater is adorable! Beautiful!
dear karen,
ReplyDeleteis there anyone you can refer the parents to? there is so much good advice here, i hope it helps you in your dilemma. most important though to take care of yourself.
sitting knitting and watching birds and the rain is a good place to start. your lacey scarf and wee sweater are beautiful. xx lori