yarn along

 woo hoo, three posts in one day, that,s got to be a record for me right?!  Lately I haven't been getting on here much so when I finally do I have lots of photos to share. Things are busy at the moment. I went to a hens night on the weekend and have another this weekend and then two weddings, both of which I'm a brides maid in, within a month. A few weeks later were going on holiday to Queensland oh and in between all the excitement I'll go to the fertility specialist and naturopath. Its all going to be lots of fun and I have a feeling I'm going to blink and a whole crazy busy month or two will be gone. Which will make me a month or two closer to moving house:)

In the meantime, maybe ill get some knitting done. My work in progress is a flora hat. I started it a few weeks ago. Its one of my first tries at intarsia and I was almost finished when I tried it on. I'd pulled the stitches too tight and it sort of looked slightly bunched up. I thought it might be OK  but when I showed it to Benny he said "oh that looks cool, is it army print?" hmm, not quite the look I was going for. So now I kind of want to re do it but I'm worried it will look like army print again.
Maybe it can sit a little longer and I can knit this instead?

 A while back I knitted a few vanilla soakers for the one day baby.

 The white one is finished and the pink stripe one needs leg cuffs still.

Tonight I've been looking back on my blog. For quite a while now I've been unmotivated with it thinking that I'm just posting same old with not much new to share. As I looked back I enjoyed it so much and realized that my 'same old' really is nice to look back on. It might seem like same old when I've just done it but to look back on my favorite everyday moments really is a picture of my life. Even if I forget to take photos when out doing fun things like I usually do. I look back on my every day normal and I see the happiness I make for myself in simple ways. It inspires me to plant more seeds, knit more, sew more. I love my every day normal.
Its been so nice to look back on our holidays, anniversary's  fun day care moments, old houses. The every day things I have forgotten about.
I think my very favorite thing looking back on my blog is re reading my honest posts on the now 4 year journey of trying to get pregnant. It brings a calmness to my soul to re read them. Validating all the thoughts and feelings I've felt and written down, It some how heals the hurt a little more each time and makes me feel strength. It reminds me that were still trying, even though after all this time it sort of feels like I've moved on and just gotten used to pregnancy and parenthood being something that other people get to experience and I don't.
That sounds so miserable but honestly its not in a sad way, just in a protecting myself from hurt way. My naturopath speaks so positively about me getting pregnant and I try to still talk like I feel its possible but after all this time it sounds kind of silly to me to. I guess I think of myself as infertile until proven otherwise. It's not that I don't believe it can happen, it really is just wanting to be at peace with what is until it does.
I was re reading all the comments on those posts too. Each of you that wrote kind and reassuring comments, every time time I re look at those posts, I re read them and they feel like little angels of hope dancing into the sky. It really does make me feel so much better to have all those kind words wishing my baby would come