flora hat. I started it a few weeks ago. Its one of my first tries at intarsia and I was almost finished when I tried it on. I'd pulled the stitches too tight and it sort of looked slightly bunched up. I thought it might be OK but when I showed it to Benny he said "oh that looks cool, is it army print?" hmm, not quite the look I was going for. So now I kind of want to re do it but I'm worried it will look like army print again.
Maybe it can sit a little longer and I can knit this instead?
Its been so nice to look back on our holidays, anniversary's fun day care moments, old houses. The every day things I have forgotten about.
I think my very favorite thing looking back on my blog is re reading my honest posts on the now 4 year journey of trying to get pregnant. It brings a calmness to my soul to re read them. Validating all the thoughts and feelings I've felt and written down, It some how heals the hurt a little more each time and makes me feel strength. It reminds me that were still trying, even though after all this time it sort of feels like I've moved on and just gotten used to pregnancy and parenthood being something that other people get to experience and I don't.
That sounds so miserable but honestly its not in a sad way, just in a protecting myself from hurt way. My naturopath speaks so positively about me getting pregnant and I try to still talk like I feel its possible but after all this time it sounds kind of silly to me to. I guess I think of myself as infertile until proven otherwise. It's not that I don't believe it can happen, it really is just wanting to be at peace with what is until it does.
I was re reading all the comments on those posts too. Each of you that wrote kind and reassuring comments, every time time I re look at those posts, I re read them and they feel like little angels of hope dancing into the sky. It really does make me feel so much better to have all those kind words wishing my baby would come